He will only open an email once. But for whom?
A cryptic polygonal stallion stands in a liminal digital meadow, carrying the weight of inboxes past and futures unopened. He doesn’t read. He doesn’t reply. He simply opens. One time. And never again.
This shirt is not a joke. It’s a prophecy.
Product Features:
Sizes S to 4XL — all inboxes welcome
Heavyweight, garment-dyed cotton — soft enough to withstand the existential dread
Double-needle stitching — strong, like the horse’s resolve
100% US-grown cotton — responsibly made, unlike the horse
Seamless design for clean lines and unclear meaning
Care Instructions:
Wash cold like your tone in professional emails
Tumble dry low, like your expectations
Do not bleach. That’s how he finds you.
Do not dry clean. That’s too formal for him.
He will only open an email once. But for whom?
A cryptic polygonal stallion stands in a liminal digital meadow, carrying the weight of inboxes past and futures unopened. He doesn’t read. He doesn’t reply. He simply opens. One time. And never again.
This shirt is not a joke. It’s a prophecy.
Product Features:
Sizes S to 4XL — all inboxes welcome
Heavyweight, garment-dyed cotton — soft enough to withstand the existential dread
Double-needle stitching — strong, like the horse’s resolve
100% US-grown cotton — responsibly made, unlike the horse
Seamless design for clean lines and unclear meaning
Care Instructions:
Wash cold like your tone in professional emails
Tumble dry low, like your expectations
Do not bleach. That’s how he finds you.
Do not dry clean. That’s too formal for him.
